Ever wondered why Bono is unassassinated?
Ever flicked through every single channel on your TV, eventually landed on America's Got Talent, seen Adam Levine's smug pigging face and thought, "why is this useless whiney voiced cunt on my television?" Do you think Kanye West is a massively overrated chinny wanker who's latest album sounds like a shitfaced uber passenger endlessly trying to find a song he likes on the poor drivers radio? Then Cuntfest is for you.
Cuntfest is the ultimate line-up of music's worst ever people. It's like a dream-team for the world's shittest ever band. Lead vocals, lead guitar, bass, piano, drums etc etc they're all accounted for.
So who qualifies? Well, they have to have a lifetime of cunty behaviour behind them. They can't be some here-today/gone-tomorrow piece of pop turd, they need to have been around for a decent stretch and been an arrogant self aggrandising cunt for as long as you can remember.
What if you like their music though? Yeah, and what? Blur are a hugely credible 90s British band, Coldplay have written one or two decent songs, that doesn't change the fact that Alex James is a champagne swilling cheese-farm cunt and Chris Martin is the wettest of all blankets with a silly little earring. At the end of the day, these people have been given a opportunity which all of us would love to have, and they've abused their powers for bad. Instead of doing something original, they're up on the Live 8 stage of life, swaying mindlessly with McCartney, peace sign in the air, singing along to Hey Jude pretending they're doing it for people who live in Africa.
The Exhibition
Â
On August 18th 2016 the Cuntfest exhibition was held at The Victoria in Dalston, London, put together and organised by BArt Collective. Twelve of London's best artists and illustrators were each assigned a band member or 'Cunt' and were asked to express all their shitty qualities into a piece of art. There was also a shooting range set up where for £10 you could shoot a risograph target practice print of a cunt of your choosing to take away with you and hang on your wall.
Fitting in with the 'Bar/Art' ethos of typical BArt Collective nights, attendees were encouraged to booze, dance and sing at the Kunt Karaoke portion of the night, where heckling was very much encouraged. This was sandwiched between DJ sets where actual good music was played. All art in the show is now available to buy at the Cuntfest Shop.
